You Are Enough!

I found myself relaying this message to a close relative and to be honest, I had to take my own advice. I’m in the midst of another academic journey and after nearly a month, my application finally moved forward. I had to question why I was really going back to school beyond wanting use my GI Bill benefits before they expire anyway.

What am I to gain?

I have both the expertise and talent to knock it out of the park. I’ve DONE this over the years and was quite good at it. The only obstacles were self-inflicted.. Being too generous and not demanding compensation. Those days are long gone, except for the times of the year, I’ve designated on my business calendar to perform pro bono work.

Yesterday’s Price, is NOT today’s price! (A whole different blog post to come)

Watching the Supreme Court hearings were triggering and flat out made me angry! The thinly veiled disdain, disrespect and gaslighting were all too familiar. Add in a dose of micro-aggressions and you’ve described the very typical day in the workplace for many. Especially Black Women.

Who wants to put up with that?

At this stage in life, It’s a non-starter to insert myself in situations where I’m not valued. And I have zero tolerance for workplace or personal toxicity. AT ALL! My heisman move stays at the ready. #keepitmoving

I truly believe that surviving in any prolonged toxic environment is a danger to mental health and has serious physical health implications. No and NOPE!

I’d begun the year with a mantra that I have the skills, expertise and talent to achieve whatever I put my mind to. Yet, here I am, STILL a little short of achieving the life work balance that’s optimal and coming out of a period of creative stuckness, that I’m not familiar with. Deep down, I knew the real issue was, I didn’t want to give up the peace, joy and tranquility of life I enjoy. And for the most part, it’s because I’m surrounded by mostly family, with a few visits with close friends sprinkled in.

This has been a trying two years, but I forged on with plans I set forth three years ago. I pivoted when my school curriculum was cancelled and jumped at the chance to give filmmaking and NOT documentary a go. I returned home, more than a little disappointed as it seemed this never ending pandemic and it’s never ending surges, just wasn’t gonna let me be great!

It’s’ beyond impossible to create visual stories either still or motion without collaborators. And more importantly, collaborators who I vibe with and show up as I do for them. When there’s a limited pool of personnel to pull from and everyone is cramming trying to complete projects, it’s tough. Not to mention, the disappointment of not being able to build my portfolio film reels with juicy backdrops that Universal Studios provides, left me supremely disappointed.

It’s one of the main attractions that brought me back to New York Film Academy, Los Angeles. I questioned if I even wanted to be bothered at all making films. After all, I wanted to learn to shoot documentaries anyway. So here I am months later on the cusp of another pivot. Refusing at the behest of a so called career counselor, to “remove unnecessary” credentials from my LinkedIn.

Say what now? HARD PASS!

I worked my ass off and have steadily improved my skills and anyone suggesting that I remove my “over qualified credentials” will themselves be dismissed. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a coach and a mentor myself, so I totally get tailoring skillsets to meet a specific goal. I should be expected to have a varied skill set given the decades I’ve been in the workforce. So, I get it, not to list EVERYTHING.

But certain things, like the Master’s Degree that I earned, has to stay. And that’s that on THAT.

Which brings me to my present quandary of waiting to see if my application to my alma mater in another certificate program will be accepted. To date, the CURRENT graduate degree I’ve had for the last nearly twenty years has yeilding not one job. Not a one.

This latest pursuit has come as some deep thinking about what my optimum professional pursuit is. At my age, I have no time for games. I have a business that requires physical contact, which until quite recently gave me anxiety. Despite all of the COVID-19 PPE and precautions; and my training as certified COVID-19 safety Officer, I was still extremely uneasy around strangers.

So, I paused EVERYTHING, until the time I could say I was ready to resume. In order to do so, this latest credential is unnecessary. It’s simply a way for me to bridge a gap and hopefully provides some very necessary contacts, advice and opportunity in a new and exciting direction.

So, in the event that my application is turned down, I accept the fact that I AM ENOUGH.

Andddd

SO

ARE

YOU!

Remember that.

The photo shown depicts my oldest diva and I standing on my Alumni Brick on the grounds of my alma mater, The George Washington University. Yes, this will be a separate blog post:)